Well, well, allow me to introduce you to the football pedestrian that is Ben Davies. Born sometime in the mid-nineties (11th of August 1995 if you're one for specifics), and hailing from England, he's been going around pretending to be a defender. For those of you less familiar, that essentially means attempting to stop the opposition from scoring. He backstops the Rangers these days, standing about 6ft tall (or 1.85m for any sensible individual using metric).
Now, his career stages could more aptly be described as a grand tour of English football clubs. Started as a fresh-faced trainee at Preston North End back in the July of '12. It's quite remarkable to think of the battles he's waged across multiple seasons, from the debut 2012-2013 to the 2020-2021 one. Imagine spending almost a decade at a club alive solely on mid-table obscurity and what I can only assume is an unlimited supply of chip butties.
Of course, there were a few, let's say "interruptions", during his time at Preston North End where he went on transient sojourns to other clubs. Reflecting on those brief spells at York City, Tranmere Rovers, Southport, Newport County, and Fleetwood Town, one can only wonder what they had that Preston didn't. Perhaps better chip butties.
Now before you ask... No, Davies never set foot in Parkhead. Celtic's roster was replete with far finer talents, so we Celtic faithful were saved the dry spectacle of watching Davies go about his business. Having slung his boots around various lower-tier clubs in England, he unexpectedly fetched up at Liverpool in some bewildering piece of business, costing around £1.2m. Then, in a move surprising no one, he was loaned out to Sheffield United where he continued his heroic expedition of pedestrian defending.
When Liverpool finally decided they'd had enough of Davies cluttering up their wage bill, they sold him for a coma-inducing £4m to Rangers in July 2022. Since then, he's been living it up north of the border, occasionally making appearances for Rangers when he's not spurring his career toward new lows by being lent out, most recently to Birmingham City. But let's be honest, the transfer merry-go-round he's been riding is less about his ability and more a tribute to the genius of agents securing transfer fees for fairly pedestrian players.
Now, if you're not filled to the brim with overwhelming interest in Davies' cup and European matches, just know this: he's graced the League Cup, Europa League and even the Champions League Qualifiers with his workmanlike defending. It's mesmerising just how much one can make out of mediocrity, isn't it?
