In the modern pantomime of Scottish football, Findlay Curtis, born somewhere in the wilds of Scotland on 1 October 2006, decided to put a football team jersey for a living - Rangers' number 52. This renowned left winger finds himself aged 18, standing at a modest 5ft 10in, or, if you're partial to the continental way of things, 1.8m. He tips the scales at a sprightly 10st 5lb, though I suppose if you prefer the metric system it's 66kg.
With an unearthly self-regard that can only come with swapping Celtic Hoops for the blue half of Glasgow, Curtis found himself making three whole first-team appearances in the 2024/25 season for Rangers. Ever the stalwart, he followed this achievement up in the 2025/26 season with a further three appearances and even bagged a goal.
Who knows how he found the time within his busy schedule to compete in the League Cup, Scottish Cup, and the Champions League Qualifiers? But participate, he did. Our brave winger managed a full one appearance as a substitute in the League Cup, scoring a goal and a single substitute appearance in the Scottish Cup. In the Champions League qualifiers, he scored one goal in two starts and two appearances popping off the bench.
Ah, but before we run out of superlatives, let's not forget to celebrate our hero's market value. According to Transfermarkt, Curtis is worth around £83k. In Euros that would be about €100k, for those who don't think in pounds sterling. At this rate, I think we can all agree that it's only a matter of time before he eclipses Messi and Ronaldo. Watch this space, dear readers, watch this space.
