In the annals of Scottish football, Rangers are something of a newbie, like a newborn babe blundering about on the grand stage. They drew their first breaths in 2012 and have since taken to toddling around Ibrox Stadium, firmly gripping onto anything within reach for stability.
Oh, the squad? It's valued at a piddling £66m, or so says Transfermarkt (source). If you think that figure sounds impressive, think again. Get your head out of the sand. It's pocket change in the wider footballing world. £66m wouldn't even net you a third-string Manchester City full back these days.
The troops donning the blue shirts number 32, with an average age of 24 — green as the freshly cut Ibrox grass, wet behind the ears. These are not battle-hardened veterans. One wonders if they've had time between nappy changes and feedings to truly learn the ropes of this grand old game.
Despite their youth and inexperience, the season has seen them march into five competitions, wailing and gnashing their teeth all the way. They're in something called the 'Premiership' (currently 2nd place), 'League Cup' (Final', oh how thrilling), 'Scottish Cup' (Fifth Round, how sweet), 'Champions League Qualifiers' (3rd Qual, yawn), and 'Europa League' (Quarter Finals, I'm surprised they made it past the first round). It's all a bit like watching a toddler take its first steps, isn't it?
So there you have it, Rangers in a nutshell. A motley crew of infants, bumbling about and occasionally stumbling into success. Don't we live in interesting times?
